This is the best/worst time of my life.. I finally meet the man of my dreams to only leave him tomorrow to school. HOWEVER he is takin a coachin job in South Carolina and I'll get to see him so much more than if he lived here. I can't wait for our lives to unfold together.

More Pictures for Weight Loss

So here's some more pictures of my Thinspiration. Look at all that fat from 20 pounds.... wow am I really carryin ALL that PLUS MORE? EEWWW no wonder my family's on my ass all the time, it's gross! The pictures really are inspiration. well for me haha

I start my Life Change Sept. 3 :)

These are a FEW pictures that will THINSPIRE me to stay on my track :) It's actually called "Thinspiration" and on Sept 3rd i'll start my life change and truly be happy with my life and myself. NO more excuses of why I keep puttin it off. I love to workout and it makes me feel better so there's really no reason why I haven't already done it. My goal is to lose 36 pounds from the start of Sept 3rd to Dec 13th before I fly home for Christmas. I'll be keepin up my weight and progress on here to be more accountable for my results.

Sad Weekend

I was haunted by a dream Friday night. The same dream I've had every August 17th night for 10 years now. It starts by seeing my real father lying in a "hospital" bed in our living room. It's bed time and my dad hugs me real tight, tighter than normal and says "goodnight Olivia, I love you so very much. Always know that I love you." I hugged him fiercely in return and said "goodnight daddy, I love you too, see you in the morning." He didn't say he would see me in the morning. He just hugged me tighter, kissed my forehead, and sent me to bed. I awoke in the night August 17th 2002 from a terrible nightmare that my daddy had died but I didn't get up and go check on him. I woke up August 18th to see all my family surrounding my fathers bed and ran to his side and kept repeating to him "wake up daddy, wake up, it's time to wake up daddy" over and over again I repeated it until I ran outside when my mother told me that God took him in the night. The dream ends but the reality doesn't. My daddy died that night of 3 different cancers; Liver, Pancreatic, and Bone. I watched him suffer, my Super Hero, suffer for 6 long months until God mercifully took him Home. I was 9 at the time and didn't quite understand but knew that my life was changing drastically. At that very moment I had to grow up, at that very moment I didn't get to have a childhood anymore, at that moment my life ended and a new one began. My mother was single and raising 2 children, me and then my older sister. She was going down a terrible road that would take her almost 10 years to get her life straight. From drugs. As I grew up I became a recluse in my life, never opening up to anybody, becoming a hard, hateful, and soulless person so I would never get hurt again. I buried all my memories from my childhood and to be honest I don't remember much before the age of 16. I am now 19... I can remember bits and pieces of my life before I was 16 but ONLY bits and pieces. 16 years of my life buried. 16 years of my life pretty much erased from my memory. My family wonders all the time where their little sweet girl went but that girl died a long time ago. August 18th was the 10 year anniversary of my fathers death. My mom, sister, and myself went to the cemetery where my father is buried and while my sister balled and my mom cried a little I stood strong and held them both saying a quick prayer that I hopefully am making my father proud. For 10 years I have had that dream and I'm sure I'll always have it the night before the anniversary. Maybe, just maybe, I'm making my father proud. I still ask myself the same question: "Why didn't you go check on him?"

My Job is TOO MUCH!

Oh man.. Are you kiddin me? Okay so I work as a teller at a bank and a very strange, weird, smelly customer always comes in at the begining of the month to well of course get money. I've seen him around for about three years and NO joke.. If any of you bloggers have seen the show The Walking Dead?? well he looks like one of the zombie "walkers" so let's call him walker. He came in today as normal tellin me he's "just a friend" and "don't be mad, I'm just a friend" he once told me and my supervisor to go "spank eachother in the back" WOW I was super irrate at him and everytime he comes in I get aggravated! --breathe... livie just breathe...-- So today all he wanted was a balance on his account so I told him and he pulls out an imaginary gun and says "hope no idiots come in and say 'pack it up'" Really?? A flippin imaginary gun?? Are you really kiddin me?? And in the middle of this post two other customers come up and they are super high and drunk and testin my patience with people. I'm already not a tolerant and patient person.. and THESE BLITHERING IDIOTS might as well pull out a gun before I do hahahaha :) They're eating ALL my chocolate at my desk... spilling all everything on my desk and I'm not even helpin them! Not only did they drink 3 cups of coffee EACH and took some kindof drug IN the bank! The "wife" or whatever she was took out a precrtiption bottle and poured 4 or 5 pills in her hand and gulp-gulp-gulped them down.
Well back to my original story which good thing it all ended and the crazies left because I don't think I could take another CRAE comin in here!
Not to mention the boss -president- is gone on vacation for 3 weeks and it's like the herd of women are all at the watering hole. Not to work, not to help or do their jobs but at the watering hole. Watering hole--- gathered together at a desk watchin everybody and gossipin--- So the bank is quite literally the "watering hole"except us Tellers :) Me, Megan, and Lesley are actually working but yea that's pretty much it. Work is sometime just way too much for me!!

Got Teeth?

Okay, so this lady came through the Drive-Thru and I said "Hi how are you?" and she responded "I'm good, AH! I just realized I forgot to put my teeth in!!" She was so embarrassed lol I know it's kindof sad but man was that FUNNY!! So maybe this will make you SMILE today :)

 

Canton Weekend! :)

Okay, so for those of you who ain't from East Texas we have a Trades Day that's in the town of Canton Tx and its HUGE I mean people from all over travel there to shop and its amazing! It's technically called "First Monday" because it's held the first Monday of every month. But us folks round here call say "goin to canton". You spend alot of money that you don't have on super cool/cute/fantastic items for EVERYBODY! I just today got 4 country tshirts, 1 sundress, 3 tanktops, and 2 dress tops I can wear to work. Can you say BARGAIN?? Not to mention my lovely granny bought me most of it PLUS these memory foam flip flops that ran for $50.. And I got the mens flops.. The womens flip flops were $90+ so I just stayed with the mens because I liked them better anyway and they were cheaper. I detailed her car when we got home for repayment so I didn't feel bad about her buyin me all that stuff haha. But what was so sad was on our way home we stopped to get some kerosine and well.... This elderly woman was walkin the highway (and I do NOT see this very often so it was a shocker) and stopped by the gas station to pick up a coin on the ground. She put it in her pocket and then went to the trash bins. She found a walmart trash sack and got it out went to the other trash bin and found an old dusty babies blanket and got it out. She then dusted it off and put it in the walmart sack. We left after that and I didn't have time to go in and get her some water but how horrible did I feel because I was complainin about somethin inferior just before I watched this lady go through trash bins... It's quite humblin to see her usin everythin that we throw away to her advantage! I didn't so much feel sorry for her after thinkin that she was kinda well dressed and maybe she was just makin the most what we throw away. That was my weekend at Canton and I had a great time with my wonderful granny :)

Summer is here :)

Real I-Talian Grub

Smelling the garlic in the air as I stuff myself fuller than a -tick on a dog- with grilled chicken and creamy homemade Alfredo sauce and garlicky soft bread soooooo beats pizza at home! Great company always makes dinner scrumptious! Thanks Megan!